Velvet Angelz{VA}

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I'm crying again...just can't take it anymore. I think the band members really love each other a lot. Those photos they uploaded in their blog really brought back a lot of memories. I can't help it but start thinking about the times we spent together. I love my band mates a lot. I'll never forget each and every single one of them. Never...

writtern @6:45 PM

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Separation sucks...hate the word. A painful process and yet we have to go through it again and again. If only there is no need for separation in this world, life would have been so much better. I'm afraid to lose my friends...really afraid. The further you are from your friends, the more they will forget about you. Cos that's what seems to happen to me and my primary school friends. I wonder if they even know that I'm still alive. Do I even hold a place in their memory?or was I just a part of their dream?I could still remember the days we spent together...do they?

Once, we promised each other, to forever be keeping in touch, and never to forget one another. But when I walked pass some of them and smiled, they treated me as though I'm a stranger. We cried on graduation day. What for? When you can't even remember that I was once a friend of yours...

I hope that won't happen to my secondary school friends too. Cos if it does, it's gonna tear my heart apart. But I'm afraid that once we move on to tertiary education, I would be forgotten. Please tell me that I hold a part of your memory, and a place in your heart. Cos I do remember all the things I did with all my friends. I promise that I would never forget any of my friends, cos I never did. Can my friends do the same thing too?

Yesterday, I wished upon a star. I wished that I would never be forgotten and hope that all my friends will succeed in life. I believed that as long as there's a star in the sky, there's a hope that it will come true. Please make my wish come true...

writtern @10:02 PM

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Suddenly thought of blogging at this point of time cos something just scares me. My bedroom window suddenly swung closed and there was a loud 'bang'. It was as though a twister had passed by my house. It really frightened me and I quickly check on my hamsters to see if they were okay. Thankfully, they were safe. Looked out the window and realised that it wasn't even raining. I wonder what causes the weather to be like this. I was worried that the wind energy is strong enough to form a hurricane. Gonna check out the news later...currently doing my project...gonna post again soon...

writtern @11:31 PM

Monday, April 20, 2009

So tired...reached home from school at 7.00 pm++ cos had rehearsal for Speech Day just now. MT lesson was very funny cos teacher talk about some Malay students trying to act cute or act cool during oral. The rest of the lessons was fine.

We did not play our best during rehearsal just now. We sounded quite disgusting. Anyway, won't be coming for band on Thursday cos me and my project group are gonna meet someone or some people from outside. We are gonna do a presentation to them. Hope this is the last item we are gonna do for this project cos I'm too stress already.

I'm gonna be very very stress and busy this week due to project and revision for studies. The project is ending soon but we still have not complete with the powerpoint slides and presentation. Our mid-year exams are coming too in around two weeks time. Hope I can complete my studies on time. Oh man...I wonder how I'm gonna buy gifts for my section by Friday. Most probably I wil have to give them after mid-year cos I won't have the time to go out at all. The places I will be seeing this few weeks are only gonna be my home and school. I have no time to visit the outside world at all. So many things to do in so little time. We'll be taking 4 test tomorrow. A continuation of our MT test, E.maths test, English ECT4 and Physics O'level SPA 2. Sorry if I lose my temper anytime. Please try to understand me.

I'm wondering why I have to care of other people's feelings if they themselves don't bother about how I feel. I took care of YOUR feelings but YOU hurt mine again and again. So should I even bother about how YOU feel!!?? I guess the answer is most probably NO. Why must I always be the one getting hurt but not YOU!!?? I guess I'm just not ruthless enough, am I!!?? That's because I have a heart, what about YOU???

writtern @8:51 PM

Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm so damn tired today...slept at 2.00 am last night to do my E.maths homework and woke up at around 5.30 am to resume it but still, I couldn't finish it. First period was E.maths lesson and Mr. Ong found out that I didn't do the question on graph so I was told to stayback till 6.00 pm...just because of one pathetic question. We also had a test on construction and i draw an inner circle instead of circumcircle so was told to do retest during form teacher contact time. After that was MT lesson. Had MT test and I still have not finish the paper yet...think we will be given time to finish it the next lesson. After that was P.E. Had a run but it wasn't 2.4 km so it was quite okay. Thought of playing captain's ball after that but ISH was too crowded.

After that, had MT oral after school. It was frightening at first but after I started reading, it went quite well. Conversation was tough. I was unable to think on the spot. Teacher commented that I lack of points for conversation. Anyway, everything's over now...fortunately.

Stayed back with Zakiah after that but I had already made plans with my dance group. I was suppose to meet them after school so we rescheduled them to evening. Anyway, here are some of the pics we took. It was already night time.

Images of the rest of the group members would not be uploaded due to certain reasons...sad huh...

writtern @9:54 PM

Thursday, April 16, 2009

It's been a long time since i last post...had a tight schedule.

School's fine and this week is enhanced common test week...so stressful. No more scoldings from my A.maths teacher. If only she knew that I have a collection of A.maths homework not done yet, I would be going through hell.

I hope I can at least pass all my test. All common test paper has been taken except for English due to some disturbance from Speech Day. The test is postponed to Tuesday,21/04. Tuesday is going to be a stressful day too cos just before English common test is our Physics O'level SPA 2. We will also be having an A.maths test this Saturday and right after that is our Chemistry O'level SPA 1. DIE!DIE!My brain cells are dying!!!

Hate Physics SPA skill 3...It is so damn difficult to plan our own experiment. I can't even come out with my own aim for the experiment so how do I even go on with the next step?...sighs...

Anyway, can't right any longer cos have to do my E.maths homework and prepare for A.maths test. I'll also need to prepare myself for MT test and oral tomorrow. MT really sux cos I can never get good marks despite the hardwork placed on studying it. Will be writing again soon...

writtern @9:45 PM

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm alone at home...
Stress, frustrated and depressed...
Think I'm suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder
Yes, I admit that I'm a loner...but this is not the life that i want...
I want to be the old me again...
The one who usually hangs out with her friends everyday...
The one who may be considered as quite rebellious...
The one who never cares about her studies...
But NO!!!I know that that path is wrong and that this path is right...
Have to set my mind straight...have to differentiate between right and wrong...
Went out to get some fresh air...don't want to reach home so soon so i chose to walk one big round...hoping that the road would be endless...
I just couldn't control my temper, can't control my feelings...
I'll get upset and frustrated over simple things like unable to solve maths questions...
I'll keep getting upset knowing that my friends would forget about me in the future...
Knowing that we would have to separate cos separation is part of life...
And I'm afraid of how life's gonna be like in the future...
Really afraid...

writtern @8:55 PM

Saturday, April 11, 2009

To that very special person out there:

The world's imperfect as it is...

and nobody's perfect...

i'm not sure what's my real personality...

it seems as though i'm a complete stranger to myself...

but your presence has been there to guide me through to decide which path i should choose...

but sometimes you make me feel left out...

sometimes, you should have known that all i need is for you to be by my side...

for me to lend you a shoulder to lean and cry on...

and for me to share all my worries and problems with you...

and sometimes, all i need is for you to lend me a listening ear...

i gave you clues but you just couldn't see it...

you should have known that i may be vulnerable...

if you had not known it, do you still consider yourself as my true friend?

think about it...

even so, i'll still consider you as my true friend cos i find it hard to part with you...

ever since we've got closer, i knew that you're there to remind me to care about the people around me...

to remind me of the presence of those around me...

to remind me that there's someone in this world who cares for me...

and lastly, to remind me that we may forget about each other in the future...

your presence is very meaningful...

writtern @6:45 PM

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The day went well. First lesson was Emaths and yet i still have not done any of my Maths homework. The rest of the lessons were very relaxing. Had NAPFA(not sure if it's the correct spelling)test during P.E...I'm not satisfied with the results...Hope i can at least get another silver this year. Slept during bio period while the bio students are busy doing their O'level Biology SPA. Really glad that I had already drop my bio cos Mr Lee did not teach them how to present their answer. None of the English teacher came to our class during remedial so the class was busy having fun.

Band was fun today. Joke around and learnt a new song. It sounded great for first-timers...I really want to finish learning the song asap so i told the seniors to come for practice on saturday and most of them agreed. I'm really looking forward to Saturday's practice but now I have to open my textbooks and start studying. Common test next week!!!Bye...

writtern @8:15 PM

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I just can't take it any longer...

School's boring. It starts off with physics common test. !#$^&*...didn't manage to do a single question. It's so tough as i had missed all my physics lesson last week cos i was absent from school. Next was bio so had free period. The rest of the day was quite okay. Slept during English lesson, amazingly didn't get scolded during Amaths lesson, and i passed my maths test even when I had not attended any maths lesson for a long time...WOW!!!

Had Speech Day rehearsal after school...i'm so glad that i'm able to skip my humanities remedial. The rehearsal went well but i'm afraid that i might not able to perform for Speech Day...haix...

Can someone slap me in the face and tell me that my grades are dropping!!?? I just can't take any greater stress so i have to be more focus in my studies. But i'm just too lazy to study...Help me change my attitude towards studies pls...

writtern @6:40 PM

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Fear:Doomsday!!!

Dreamt about doomsday last night...very scary indeed. The skies are black and there are only stripes of dark orange light as a source of light. It was burning everywhere and it's very hot. Buildings are surrounded by water as the ocean is about to cover land. Lightning strikes continuously. I was alone in my house. No one there to support me. That's all i can remember. Glad that it is only a dream. Phew...don't want to dream about that again.

Anyway, nothing much today. Sleep, watch tv, slack, play guitar, play com and ignoring all my homework. My grades are never gonna improve cos i'm just pure lazy...sighs...

writtern @6:46 PM

Friday, April 3, 2009

What's wrong with my taste buds?

I feel so much better now. No more fever but still have cough, flu and headache. Can't stand for too long or walk long distance cos body is still not strong enough...almost fainted during morning flag-raising...haix. One major problem...something's wrong with my taste buds...nothing seems nice. Plain water taste disgusting...even milk taste better. Have been drinking only milk since tuesday....What should i do???Burst my taste buds???

Just came back from PTM just now...nothing much...only failed Amaths. Amaths, the common one. Anyway, did not receive any scoldings from my parents of my result. I'm quite satisfied with it too though...not planning to go JC cos i don't want to take anymore Mother Tongue. But my results are still very poor...blame it on the hypocrite I got to know last year who changed my habit. Anyway, let's see who gets the last laugh...

writtern @8:57 PM

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I miss my friends a lot...

Nothing much today...still sick but my temp has gone down maybe b'cos of bathing ice cold water last night. May be goin to school tmr but i may need support wherever i go. Can't seem to focus at where i'm heading to.

I'm still thinking about band. Still can't accept the truth actually. What happen to us on the 31st of March 2009? Why can't we play just like the way we used to when performing in front of the school or parents? There's a lot of whys to be questioned in my head...haix...I'm not going to console myself saying that we did our best in this SYF cos if i'm doing that, i'll just be lying to myself. I believe we can get a better result.

To that very special person out there:
I don't know if I occupy any special place in your heart but all i know is that you suddenly became special to me on the night that i dreamt about you. Now i realised that i just can't bear to part with you. Don't know if you feel the same way too. Separation is going to be a heart-tearing experience for me. I don't wanna go through it....

writtern @6:19 PM

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I feel like dying...

Have been sleepin the whole day...without eating or drinking. Was crying the whole night cos i can't stand my headache. I can't sit up, everytime i stand i will fall and i can't even hold a spoon. I'm very worried of my studies...really miss a lot and i'm not goin school again tmr cos my body temp is 39.5 degrees. I miss my friends a lot and it also happens that Zakiah did not attend school too. Anyway, can't write any longer cos i'm goin back to sleep. Gonna miss y'all so much my friends...

writtern @5:34 PM