It's about us and music

2010-02-01T12:46:00.002+08:00

Sorry that I have not been spending time with my friends much. I'm too tired and I feel very down. Maybe I need some time alone. For now. I don't know if I will feel better with my friends around me.

2010-02-01T12:27:00.002+08:00

Too much have been going on these few days. It is too much for me to take and I feel really exhausted. I want a break or go on a holiday. Sometimes I feel like having my friends around me so that I can share my problems with them. Once, tears started to fell and I felt like I needed a hug from them or lend me a shoulder to cry on. I don't think I can live alone. Nothing has been going on right and I hope it would end here. Right now. I want my life to get better. 2010 has started on a wrong note and I'm worried that it would go on like this for the rest of the year. I'm really, really tired. Please stop. Alright. I'm more than determined to improve the situation of my life. God willing.

2010-01-06T12:52:00.003+08:00

I'VE FOUND IT!!!
The only thing that I ever needed to know. The answer that I've been searching for.
I'VE FINALLY FOUND IT!!!
Something which I have been hoping and searching for. The only thing that I'm passionate about. I've found the course that I'm dying for.
ARTS BUSINESS MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only problem now is whether my results can get me to the course that I want. I won't go home if my results really SUCKS.

2009-12-20T19:07:00.005+08:00

I'm satisfied with what I have in my life. I don't think I could ask for more. I'm happy with what god has gave me....cause there are more unfortunate ones out there. So I find it best that those who are wealthy or those who can afford it to help those in need....as I have already started it. I want to see more happiness in the world. Don't be stingy with money. Money could be earned, but not lives.

Anyway, to those who felt troubled with any people in your life, you might want to get rid of them from your lives by forgetting that you ever met that kind of person or erasing memories of whatever unhappiness that person has ever done to you. Sometimes, not looking at their faces ever again really helps. I did that and I'm happy with the way I handle these difficult situations.

2009-12-20T18:54:00.002+08:00

I want to start writing a diary...not online but in a book...I felt that some memories brought so much happiness. If only we got a time machine where we can go back to the past and enjoy the happiness we once had. I bet that it would bring smiles to our faces. Sometimes I felt that I don't want to grow up, cos I would miss this very moment. Someone told me before that she want to stay young and pretty....I mean...who wouldn't???Even I do...

2009-12-02T02:20:00.002+08:00

BACK FROM THE HOLIDAYS!!!
Will talk about my holiday and birthdy in my next post....very tired right now.
And I love my new coloured hair!!!

2009-11-25T01:19:00.004+08:00

Went for band camp just now...quite boring and fun at the same time. Someone's face really spoils my mood. Did not eat dinner with them cos I had already eaten with my mum earlier on. Received two certificates and a badge which I already had. Planned to compile all my certificates together. I ate the cake and it is actually quite nice. Quite like it. Anyway, bored....bored....bored. Going to Malaysia soon for 3D2N...I think....shopping the whole time!!!!!WOOHOOO!!!! That's what that matters most. Will only start working when my birthday ends...hehe...Anyway, gonna plan an outing for all the Trombonist. Don't know where to go....

2009-11-24T01:45:00.002+08:00

Went to school to do NYAA early morning....Damn it...It's getting longer and longer...Freak me out...So long. Lazy sia. Anyway, went to the dentist any time I want just now. Doc says nothing wrong with my teeth except that I have one missing adult tooth which really scares me cos he said that I may be born without the tooth or it is growing horizontally in my gums. He told me to go for X-ray. Growing horizontally means that I have to go for SURGERY. OMG!!!!!AARRGGHHHHH!!!!PRAY AZURAH PRAY....Pray that you're born without that tooth.Damn scared sia.
Heard from Thomas that the class actually had a class trip to Genting. Class trip????You called that a class trip???? I did not even hear any news about it and you called that a class trip?? WTH...4E1 is not that united afterall...

2009-11-23T01:03:00.003+08:00

I'm almost reaching 16 and I don't realise it...so sad...my friends have already watched NC16 while I'm still waiting. Haix...It's Ilah's birthday ytd...Hope she had an enjoyable and memorable birthday. It's so hard to meet her these days. I miss my girls already. Maybe going out with my mum later...bb...lazy to post already.

2009-11-18T23:56:00.002+08:00

Had a movie marathon with Fazrinah, Jannah and Atiqah...Watched lots of scary and disgusting scenes....And will never watch it again...
Quite tiring...
Butt cram...
But had a great meal...
Thanks for spending time with me today....if not I will be bored to death at home...Love you guys lots!!!!

2009-11-09T15:15:00.003+08:00

O'levels are gonna end soon...quite happy but at the same time sad...
Could have tried my best....If only I had realized this earlier...no more studying to do but I hope to be able to give tuition to the students in the orphanage....All I want to do is help people who needs it most...

Just returned home from school...studied alone in the canteen cause I had always believed that the key to success is to be independent. Don't always rely on your parents. They have worked so hard to provide for you. It's time you return them back the favour. If you aren't independent at all, you can never work alone.

I'm damn hungry right now but don't have the appetite to eat....If only my momma cook spicy stuff later....haix...still must wait...Anyway, finished my O'level Physics TYS...WOOOHOOO.....Momma I got study ok!!!

2009-11-08T18:35:00.005+08:00

Very, very scared....Extremely scared....for O'level results...
I'm scared that I may end up in ITE....
It'll seriously be the end of my life...from the way I see it...

2009-11-08T18:05:00.005+08:00

WTH...WTH...WTH...WTH....
It's seriously KILLING me....PLS STOP IT....
Pls stop having high expectations on me....It's not gonna work....seriously....
Cos I know I will let you down..... so just stop it....
I'M SO SORRY.....I KNOW I AM USELESS....SORRY....

2009-09-27T23:19:00.003+08:00

Had NDP meeting just now...Quite fun but two ppl spoiled my day...Really love the dance choreographer for this wonderful day...Open house makes me feel so tired today...Finally I'm closed house....AND STOP ASKING ME TO DO HOUSEWORK!!!

I promise myself not to touch the com until end of O'levels....bb ppl...You can still text me...only for important stuff pls....

2009-09-19T23:17:00.002+08:00

Long time did not touch the com...finally touching it...

Thanks to them I finally know what's life!!!Its really happening if you know what to do...Look inside you ppl...Discover the real you!!! Life is so short...make it happening...Look ahead of you and do what you want to do....

Ya I'm turning into a bitch but so what...I can still diffrentiate between the wrong and the right...Ppls first impression is from the way you look...they will never even bother to find out your inner self. Whether you're good or bad the wont even bother. I may be who I am but not even my friends know what I want to do in the future...truth is, I love to help ppl...especially the unfortunate ones. I want to do everything I can to help them. Doesn't sound like me right?

2009-09-06T00:19:00.002+08:00

Long time no update...was quite busy...duh...

Was hot tempered the past few days but is feeling better now...Thanks to Rembuction for the great performance on dance night. Really enjoyed it and I'm proud of ya'll...love the group lots.

Last few days was rather hot tempered...especially with my irritating grandma. I feel like beating someone up whenever I am angry. Grrr...god damn it...I wish I have a punching bag. But it's the fasting month so I should try my best to hold my anger. Patience girl, patience.

Gtg now. Had to do my A.maths hw....Arghhh...17 pages...I'm gonna go crazy.

Long qns,

Lots of usage of foolscap,

2009-07-29T21:49:00.004+08:00

Allow me to blog randomly...

1. STOP THE CHILD ABUSE, BE IT PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY!!!
Freaking irritated when hearing stories about father pulling their daughter's hair, punching their face or doing anything that may cause harm to the child. Triple ***hole....just because it's their child doesn't mean that the child is their punching bag.

2. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE OLDER AND HAVE MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE IN LIFE, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT!!!
I believe that even some kids can think and behave much more maturely than the adults. Just because you are older, it does not mean that everything you say is always right. If everyone thinks that way, then the kids in the world will not have any human rights. In addition to that, especially for the adults, YOU DON'T EVER DEMAND RESPECT, YOU HAVE TO GIVE RESPECT TO EARN IT.

I'm seriously damn upset right now. Things and conditions have change a lot and I seem to be unable to adapt to it. Almost everyone's opinions are against me but I'm still gonna stick to it...

IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT MY HEART REALLY HURTS RIGHT NOW. CAN'T SEEM TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU.

2009-07-08T19:47:00.002+08:00

Even though I'm not such a great fan of Michael Jackson, it's saddening to see him go just like that. Was touched and cried when they show all the past photos of MJ. He has helped a lot of needy people and has tried to bring the message of making the world a better place across to people.Think fans around the world will miss him a lot, especially his children.

2009-07-06T13:26:00.003+08:00

Had great fun these two days...real fun...really enjoyed myself...

NDP was amazing on Saturday
Facebook ticket winners watched it which I hoped they enjoyed it
Had over 20 000 people watching which really shocked me but it was nothing
The guys got their costumes which is damn nice and I really like to see them wearing it
Now I know how Pussycat Dolls feel when they wear high heels while dancing...it's damn cool but also very tiring...What satisfies the performer most is when they hear the audiences screaming and clapping for them cos all a performer hopes for is that their audience enjoyed watching the show.

Ate McDonalds after that cos was very hungry...Laughed a lot which took me an hour to finished my burger and brought my fries back home...We were talking about customers who ordered "One McChicken without the chicken" or "One small fries without potato"...ridiculous...which really do happen in real life...and a lot more stuff...

Yesterday, went shopping after I woke up and had a lot of fun....but was irritated in the train by inconsiderate passengers who did not allow people to alight first...and I shouted at them...Was raining all day and we were singing out loud in the rain cos there were only a few people around as it was already late...

Okay, that's all about it to cut the story short...will blog again soon...

2009-07-03T20:20:00.003+08:00

Thank you my friends for showing care, concern and gave me advices when I was feeling unwell these few days. Don't know why but I kept having problems with my health this week even though I took great care of myself. Had problems with my stomach in the beginning of the week resulting in diarrhoea and had migraine while preparing for my MT Oral exam which fortunately did not affect my Oral. Thanks a lot cause I needed the advices....Love ya...

2009-06-26T22:40:00.003+08:00

Just woke up from the cemetry and back from the dead!!!

Tired of blogging but it's nothing....
WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT!!?
Nvm...was sick but is feeling better today...and still had not hand in my Emaths homework...I'M GONNA DIE!!!
but I have a good reason okay...you can't blame me for that...
who knows I got pork flu and may spread it to my classmates...touchwood...
you will never know...
Think I fell sick cause I kept sleeping at 3a.m and woke up early in the morning everyday and was very tired...
Anyway, will blog again soon cause I'm gonna go wash up now...
BB...

2009-06-11T12:47:00.005+08:00

I don't know why but I feel very upset, angry, frustrated, fed up.....ARGHHHHH!!![SCREAM].......
Don't know why....
I just wanna shout it out loud!
I gotta have my own say!
Never gonna get looked down on!
And never gonna feel inferior anymore!
COS NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME, TO FORCE ME, TO STOP ME OR TO EVEN COMMENT ON ME!!!
YEAH THAT'S ME ALRIGHT.......THAT'S ME....
YOU THINK WHEN I JUST SHUT MY ASS UP IT MEANS I'M AFRAID OF YOU....NO OK....DON'T BE TOO PROUD OF IT....IT JUST MEANS THAT I CAN NO LONGER BOTHER ABOUT YOU COS YOU'VE GONE WAY TOO MUCH!!!ASS****.....YOU REALLY S***
I NO LONGER RECOGNISED YOU....I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE JUST KEPT QUIET ABOUT IT COS EVERY ONE HAVE THEIR OWN SAY...
PLEASE LOOK AT THE MIRROR BEFORE YOU EVEN BOTHER ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKE...CORRECT YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CORRECT OTHERS!!!
YEAH...FINALLY SEEN MY TRUE COLOURS!!!
CAUSE THAT'S WHAT DEVILZ BENEATH ANGELZ ARE.....ANYTHING CAN BE EXPECTED....

2009-06-10T23:47:00.005+08:00

Just came back from dance practice...tired...must start studying after this...haix...

I feel very sad cause I'm currently experiencing things that I do not want to go through in life. As I keep saying this phrase to my friends, "I live to make friends, not enemies", I stay truthful to it. But it just irritates me to see that some people only choose to be friends with those who are better looking. It saddens me a lot to see those who are being cast aside and bullied. Grrr...

Secondly, I am an animal lover. I just found out that the owner of four kittens, three young ones and one adult cat has abandoned them under a tree. These kind of pet owner really sucks. If I am alowed to keep cats, I would have taken care of them. Those cats were really timid cause they were so used to being taken care of. I swear that when I own my own house, I will take care of abandoned cats.

Alright enough of that...I must calm down so that I can concentrate on my studies later...will blog again soon...

2009-06-06T23:40:00.002+08:00

I'm dead beat...I wanna sleep and I don't know why I'm blogging right now.Just came back from ELECTRA. Have been rushing here and there since morning starting with dance rehearsal.

ELECTRA was kinda funny and scary. I kept on laughing that I'm lucky I did not laugh out loud in the theatre cos the whole theatre was dead silence. The characters are dressed up in a very scary manner which I do not how to describe it.

Sheesh...tired man...gonna sleep right now..bb..ZZZzzzzz...

2009-05-23T00:56:00.002+08:00

Sorry guys, really lazy to post these days...

Reasons:
Firstly, my NDP'09 dance practice is taking up half of my saturdays and also some of the nights during the weekdays.
Secondly, my O'level MT paper is on the 1st of June. It's coming really soon so I've got no choice but to study my Malay everyday after school. My MT results has not been constant and I'm really hoping that I will get the results that I expect for for the June paper so that I won't have to study MT anymore. I'm aiming for an A1 but would be satisfied with a B3.

I'm no longer addicted to gaming anymore so I'm glad that I can focus on my studies again. Planned to use the Internet only once every three days or every alternate days[depending on situation].

2009-05-18T22:48:00.004+08:00

Wow...long time never post and I'm damn lazy to post right now. Think I wanna reflect on things but not in this post. Will do that soon...

These few days were very enjoyable for me. Had a lot of fun!

Friday-After exams, went shopping with family...bought some stuff and rushed home to attend NDP dance practice. It felt great but was very tiring.

Saturday- Attended dance practice at Simei ITE...The students there were damn friendly and I really enjoyed dancing with them. Hope to get to know more of them soon. It's great to make more friends. Then we went to Kranji Camp to know more about our formation. It suddenly rain and we had our measurements taken for our costumes instead. Funny things happened and don't wanna talk about it in case someone read this blog. After that was home sweet home but we practiced by ourselves instead. Finally, I finished learning all the dance steps.

Sunday- Purposely woke up late cos someone told me that if I sleep for longer hours, I will grow taller...but that can never happen. Went to the gym in the afternoon with Surya.

Monday-Went to the gym again in the morning and after that attempted the combined science MCQ paper. Still thinking of dropping to combine science but also thinking that I'm not a quitter.

Anyway, had great workouts these few days. Really sweat a lot especially during dance practices and when exercising in the gym. Realised that I'm so damn crazy about dancing these few days. Hope it really benefits me a lot. Gonna post again soon...

2009-05-05T16:32:00.003+08:00

It's Mid Year Exams for these two weeks. I just can't keep my mind focus on studies at home cos all I'll think about is Facebook. Can't kick the habit....DIE! Even the fill in the blanks questions on my Malay Paper is on Facebook...Haix...I did my best for my languages. I don't think I will regret it if I fail any of them.

There's a new seating arrangement for Mother Tongue Paper. My place was so damn hot. I was perspiring while doing my MT paper. Luckily, It's only for MT paper. I can't bear to suffer for the rest of my other papers. I finished my MT paper around 25 minutes before it ended cos our MT teacher had trained us to finish one whole paper in an hour. I can see that most of the Malay students finished their paper and slept[including me]. Gosh! I was perspiring as though the rain just ended while sleeping...I still prefer my seat at the back where there are fans blowing from my side and my back. I'll never complain about being too cold anymore.

A few days ago:
Had dinner with some of our relatives outside...Nice food. Had chicken, a wide variety of fish, hotplate beancurd, tom yam soup and many more. I even ate lobster...Yummy...Before that, went out with my mum and two brothers to Jurong Point. My mum bought me a silver dolphin-shaped earring and asked me if it was Mother's Day or Youth Day...haha...Anyway, I think she's mad at me for not wearing the diamond earring which she bought for me last time. No longer interested in it anyway...

Most of my friends who are born in this month are not able to celebrate their birthday cos it's exam period...I'm really glad that I'm born during the holidays. I can celebrate my birthday this year cos it is after O'levels...

Anyway, got to go and study now.....will post again soon.....I guess...

2009-04-26T18:45:00.002+08:00

I'm crying again...just can't take it anymore. I think the band members really love each other a lot. Those photos they uploaded in their blog really brought back a lot of memories. I can't help it but start thinking about the times we spent together. I love my band mates a lot. I'll never forget each and every single one of them. Never...

2009-04-25T22:02:00.003+08:00

Separation sucks...hate the word. A painful process and yet we have to go through it again and again. If only there is no need for separation in this world, life would have been so much better. I'm afraid to lose my friends...really afraid. The further you are from your friends, the more they will forget about you. Cos that's what seems to happen to me and my primary school friends. I wonder if they even know that I'm still alive. Do I even hold a place in their memory?or was I just a part of their dream?I could still remember the days we spent together...do they?

Once, we promised each other, to forever be keeping in touch, and never to forget one another. But when I walked pass some of them and smiled, they treated me as though I'm a stranger. We cried on graduation day. What for? When you can't even remember that I was once a friend of yours...

I hope that won't happen to my secondary school friends too. Cos if it does, it's gonna tear my heart apart. But I'm afraid that once we move on to tertiary education, I would be forgotten. Please tell me that I hold a part of your memory, and a place in your heart. Cos I do remember all the things I did with all my friends. I promise that I would never forget any of my friends, cos I never did. Can my friends do the same thing too?

Yesterday, I wished upon a star. I wished that I would never be forgotten and hope that all my friends will succeed in life. I believed that as long as there's a star in the sky, there's a hope that it will come true. Please make my wish come true...

2009-04-22T23:31:00.002+08:00

Suddenly thought of blogging at this point of time cos something just scares me. My bedroom window suddenly swung closed and there was a loud 'bang'. It was as though a twister had passed by my house. It really frightened me and I quickly check on my hamsters to see if they were okay. Thankfully, they were safe. Looked out the window and realised that it wasn't even raining. I wonder what causes the weather to be like this. I was worried that the wind energy is strong enough to form a hurricane. Gonna check out the news later...currently doing my project...gonna post again soon...

2009-04-20T20:51:00.003+08:00

So tired...reached home from school at 7.00 pm++ cos had rehearsal for Speech Day just now. MT lesson was very funny cos teacher talk about some Malay students trying to act cute or act cool during oral. The rest of the lessons was fine.

We did not play our best during rehearsal just now. We sounded quite disgusting. Anyway, won't be coming for band on Thursday cos me and my project group are gonna meet someone or some people from outside. We are gonna do a presentation to them. Hope this is the last item we are gonna do for this project cos I'm too stress already.

I'm gonna be very very stress and busy this week due to project and revision for studies. The project is ending soon but we still have not complete with the powerpoint slides and presentation. Our mid-year exams are coming too in around two weeks time. Hope I can complete my studies on time. Oh man...I wonder how I'm gonna buy gifts for my section by Friday. Most probably I wil have to give them after mid-year cos I won't have the time to go out at all. The places I will be seeing this few weeks are only gonna be my home and school. I have no time to visit the outside world at all. So many things to do in so little time. We'll be taking 4 test tomorrow. A continuation of our MT test, E.maths test, English ECT4 and Physics O'level SPA 2. Sorry if I lose my temper anytime. Please try to understand me.

I'm wondering why I have to care of other people's feelings if they themselves don't bother about how I feel. I took care of YOUR feelings but YOU hurt mine again and again. So should I even bother about how YOU feel!!?? I guess the answer is most probably NO. Why must I always be the one getting hurt but not YOU!!?? I guess I'm just not ruthless enough, am I!!?? That's because I have a heart, what about YOU???

2009-04-17T21:54:00.010+08:00

I'm so damn tired today...slept at 2.00 am last night to do my E.maths homework and woke up at around 5.30 am to resume it but still, I couldn't finish it. First period was E.maths lesson and Mr. Ong found out that I didn't do the question on graph so I was told to stayback till 6.00 pm...just because of one pathetic question. We also had a test on construction and i draw an inner circle instead of circumcircle so was told to do retest during form teacher contact time. After that was MT lesson. Had MT test and I still have not finish the paper yet...think we will be given time to finish it the next lesson. After that was P.E. Had a run but it wasn't 2.4 km so it was quite okay. Thought of playing captain's ball after that but ISH was too crowded.

After that, had MT oral after school. It was frightening at first but after I started reading, it went quite well. Conversation was tough. I was unable to think on the spot. Teacher commented that I lack of points for conversation. Anyway, everything's over now...fortunately.

Stayed back with Zakiah after that but I had already made plans with my dance group. I was suppose to meet them after school so we rescheduled them to evening. Anyway, here are some of the pics we took. It was already night time.

Images of the rest of the group members would not be uploaded due to certain reasons...sad huh...

2009-04-16T21:45:00.005+08:00

It's been a long time since i last post...had a tight schedule.

School's fine and this week is enhanced common test week...so stressful. No more scoldings from my A.maths teacher. If only she knew that I have a collection of A.maths homework not done yet, I would be going through hell.

I hope I can at least pass all my test. All common test paper has been taken except for English due to some disturbance from Speech Day. The test is postponed to Tuesday,21/04. Tuesday is going to be a stressful day too cos just before English common test is our Physics O'level SPA 2. We will also be having an A.maths test this Saturday and right after that is our Chemistry O'level SPA 1. DIE!DIE!My brain cells are dying!!!

Hate Physics SPA skill 3...It is so damn difficult to plan our own experiment. I can't even come out with my own aim for the experiment so how do I even go on with the next step?...sighs...

Anyway, can't right any longer cos have to do my E.maths homework and prepare for A.maths test. I'll also need to prepare myself for MT test and oral tomorrow. MT really sux cos I can never get good marks despite the hardwork placed on studying it. Will be writing again soon...

2009-04-12T20:55:00.003+08:00

I'm alone at home...
Stress, frustrated and depressed...
Think I'm suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder
Yes, I admit that I'm a loner...but this is not the life that i want...
I want to be the old me again...
The one who usually hangs out with her friends everyday...
The one who may be considered as quite rebellious...
The one who never cares about her studies...
But NO!!!I know that that path is wrong and that this path is right...
Have to set my mind straight...have to differentiate between right and wrong...
Went out to get some fresh air...don't want to reach home so soon so i chose to walk one big round...hoping that the road would be endless...
I just couldn't control my temper, can't control my feelings...
I'll get upset and frustrated over simple things like unable to solve maths questions...
I'll keep getting upset knowing that my friends would forget about me in the future...
Knowing that we would have to separate cos separation is part of life...
And I'm afraid of how life's gonna be like in the future...
Really afraid...

2009-04-11T18:45:00.005+08:00

To that very special person out there:

The world's imperfect as it is...

and nobody's perfect...

i'm not sure what's my real personality...

it seems as though i'm a complete stranger to myself...

but your presence has been there to guide me through to decide which path i should choose...

but sometimes you make me feel left out...

sometimes, you should have known that all i need is for you to be by my side...

for me to lend you a shoulder to lean and cry on...

and for me to share all my worries and problems with you...

and sometimes, all i need is for you to lend me a listening ear...

i gave you clues but you just couldn't see it...

you should have known that i may be vulnerable...

if you had not known it, do you still consider yourself as my true friend?

think about it...

even so, i'll still consider you as my true friend cos i find it hard to part with you...

ever since we've got closer, i knew that you're there to remind me to care about the people around me...

to remind me of the presence of those around me...

to remind me that there's someone in this world who cares for me...

and lastly, to remind me that we may forget about each other in the future...

your presence is very meaningful...

2009-04-09T20:15:00.004+08:00

The day went well. First lesson was Emaths and yet i still have not done any of my Maths homework. The rest of the lessons were very relaxing. Had NAPFA(not sure if it's the correct spelling)test during P.E...I'm not satisfied with the results...Hope i can at least get another silver this year. Slept during bio period while the bio students are busy doing their O'level Biology SPA. Really glad that I had already drop my bio cos Mr Lee did not teach them how to present their answer. None of the English teacher came to our class during remedial so the class was busy having fun.

Band was fun today. Joke around and learnt a new song. It sounded great for first-timers...I really want to finish learning the song asap so i told the seniors to come for practice on saturday and most of them agreed. I'm really looking forward to Saturday's practice but now I have to open my textbooks and start studying. Common test next week!!!Bye...

2009-04-08T18:40:00.005+08:00

I just can't take it any longer...

School's boring. It starts off with physics common test. !#$^&*...didn't manage to do a single question. It's so tough as i had missed all my physics lesson last week cos i was absent from school. Next was bio so had free period. The rest of the day was quite okay. Slept during English lesson, amazingly didn't get scolded during Amaths lesson, and i passed my maths test even when I had not attended any maths lesson for a long time...WOW!!!

Had Speech Day rehearsal after school...i'm so glad that i'm able to skip my humanities remedial. The rehearsal went well but i'm afraid that i might not able to perform for Speech Day...haix...

Can someone slap me in the face and tell me that my grades are dropping!!?? I just can't take any greater stress so i have to be more focus in my studies. But i'm just too lazy to study...Help me change my attitude towards studies pls...

2009-04-05T18:46:00.003+08:00

The Fear:Doomsday!!!

Dreamt about doomsday last night...very scary indeed. The skies are black and there are only stripes of dark orange light as a source of light. It was burning everywhere and it's very hot. Buildings are surrounded by water as the ocean is about to cover land. Lightning strikes continuously. I was alone in my house. No one there to support me. That's all i can remember. Glad that it is only a dream. Phew...don't want to dream about that again.

Anyway, nothing much today. Sleep, watch tv, slack, play guitar, play com and ignoring all my homework. My grades are never gonna improve cos i'm just pure lazy...sighs...

2009-04-03T20:57:00.004+08:00

What's wrong with my taste buds?

I feel so much better now. No more fever but still have cough, flu and headache. Can't stand for too long or walk long distance cos body is still not strong enough...almost fainted during morning flag-raising...haix. One major problem...something's wrong with my taste buds...nothing seems nice. Plain water taste disgusting...even milk taste better. Have been drinking only milk since tuesday....What should i do???Burst my taste buds???

Just came back from PTM just now...nothing much...only failed Amaths. Amaths, the common one. Anyway, did not receive any scoldings from my parents of my result. I'm quite satisfied with it too though...not planning to go JC cos i don't want to take anymore Mother Tongue. But my results are still very poor...blame it on the hypocrite I got to know last year who changed my habit. Anyway, let's see who gets the last laugh...

2009-04-02T18:19:00.003+08:00

I miss my friends a lot...

Nothing much today...still sick but my temp has gone down maybe b'cos of bathing ice cold water last night. May be goin to school tmr but i may need support wherever i go. Can't seem to focus at where i'm heading to.

I'm still thinking about band. Still can't accept the truth actually. What happen to us on the 31st of March 2009? Why can't we play just like the way we used to when performing in front of the school or parents? There's a lot of whys to be questioned in my head...haix...I'm not going to console myself saying that we did our best in this SYF cos if i'm doing that, i'll just be lying to myself. I believe we can get a better result.

To that very special person out there:
I don't know if I occupy any special place in your heart but all i know is that you suddenly became special to me on the night that i dreamt about you. Now i realised that i just can't bear to part with you. Don't know if you feel the same way too. Separation is going to be a heart-tearing experience for me. I don't wanna go through it....

2009-04-01T17:34:00.002+08:00

I feel like dying...

Have been sleepin the whole day...without eating or drinking. Was crying the whole night cos i can't stand my headache. I can't sit up, everytime i stand i will fall and i can't even hold a spoon. I'm very worried of my studies...really miss a lot and i'm not goin school again tmr cos my body temp is 39.5 degrees. I miss my friends a lot and it also happens that Zakiah did not attend school too. Anyway, can't write any longer cos i'm goin back to sleep. Gonna miss y'all so much my friends...

2009-03-31T17:35:00.005+08:00

I'm sick...

Currently gathering enough strength to sit in front of the com to post...

Had SYF just now...wasn't the least nervous actually. Was doin my project till this morning till ard 2 a.m...slept at 2 a.m and woke up at ard 4.30 a.m.Very , very tired...Whose not tired if you only slept for only two and a half hours?I suddenly vomited as soon as i woke up.Body felt very weak, had running nose, cough and headache.Reached school late...Only Zakiah knows that i'm unwell...thanks girl...for always being there. Did not ate anything the whole morning till 5 p.m just now...no appetite...

Practice starts early in the morning and soon after that we proceed to SCH. After the first two bands had played, it's our turn. We didn't played as well as how we did the last two performance. Was kinda disappointed...terribly...results were out after the rest of the band had played. I slept as they were playing cos cant stand the headache. Got bronze...another bronze...f***...damn angry man...ahhhh!!!!freaking out...

Forget about it...its over and im too ashamed to face my frens in school. They really had high expectations of the band...and always hoping for the best...They gave me great support but this is the kind of result we brought back.

Anyway, i'm not cumin to school tmr cos am really, really sick and my headache is killin me...

My fourth SYF is TMR!!!

2009-03-30T18:59:00.000+08:00

Today started out very well...school was fine...p.e was forever fun. I love p.e alot cos it's the only time that i'm able to relax my mind and have fun. After that was English and Chemistry. Had Chemistry test....sucks a lot...damn hard man...forever cannot do. After recess was geography, Amaths and Chemistry again. Was really focused during these lessons....not sure the reason why...Got Social Studies ECT3 results back...almost burst to tears again...cant believe i got 21/25...thought i was going to fail.

HATE AMATHS LESSON ALOT!!!I don't like teachers who keep picking on their students. I know i cant get good grades for my Amaths but that doesnt give YOU the right to insult me. YOU cant force me to drop either. Its my problem if i want to stay in Amaths class or not. YOU can ignore me for all i care...all that i know is that i believe that i can make it. I believe in myself. YOU even embarrassed me in front of the whole class commenting on my handwriting. YOU have a problem with that??? Well, i can write neatly but im just not used to writing on the whiteboard...Is that reason accepted!!!??? I have my own pride and dignity ok!!!??? YOU kept asking us why other students can make it but why cant we...Well, the only qns YOU should ask YOURSELF is that have YOU ever been a great teacher??? YOU knock my head with a paper when i ask you a qns...if thats the way, how can i ever learn??? YOU even reprimanded me when i did not sweep the floor properly...Why cant you just understand us???

Enough about Amaths pls...its no use...anyway, my Chem teacher complained saying that some of the band members took the advantage of taking a longer break and missing the first half of his practical lesson...He told me that he will not allow them to do the next practical as a form of punishment...

Band: I'm usually happy during band time. My section never fails to put a smile on my face especially when im perfectly fine. LOVE MY SECTION A LOT...Tmr is SYF...talking about SYF reminds me of the glorious days i had during my primary school band. Can i have this permission to experience those glorious days again but with GSB?

Feeling inferior...

2009-03-29T20:18:00.000+08:00

Blog about ytd...

Saturday, 28 March 2009:
Woke up late for school today. Slapped myself for my stupidity. Luckily, able to reach school early. A miracle. Haha...Emaths and Amaths remedial in the morning. Wasn't able to focus during Emaths but was amazingly focused during Amaths. Went to Mac after that to have lunch...breakfast actually cos i ate hotcakes. Went for band after tat...syf is in another 3 days. Told myself to stay happy for the rest of the day. Joke with SY and Mel a lot during band. Funny man...anw band was fine...but got sleepy. Went back home to do project after that...big headache=stress.

Somehow, i wasn't really feeling happy today. There is this feeling of being inferior inside me. Quite upset about it. Don't wanna tell my friends the real story cos i always keep my feelings to myself. Never want to share my unhappiness or they will be unhappy too. Believe in the saying: It's better suffering alone rather than having others suffering with you.

Well that's about all...my butt is getting numb for sitting in front of the com for too long doin my project....and btw, good luck to GSB for SYF'09!!!